Consciously Protecting Myself From Perves

I like to call them perve peeves because these are exactly what I have. Ever since  I went natural, I found a new sense of confidence with my hair. It’s bouncy and the curls are luxurious. That being said, a lot of the time I feel myself in terms of my looks. I consider myself a beautiful girl and I love to wear clothes that illuminate my beauty although those possibilities seem infinite 🙂 However, after shopping for rompers today, I became self-conscious of how guys would lock their eyes on me if I were to wear these clothes down the street. The clothing I wear is short but not inappropriate in terms of summer. Just typing that sentence made me cringe because I hate explaining myself when it comes to my wardrobe and other people’s actions.

I was on the train the other day with denim shorts slightly above my knees and a regular tank top when this guy proceeded to stare me down. I ended up just changing my seat, but situations like this occur many times to a point where I am frustrated that I have to deal with the reality of watching how I dress just for these perves. The worse part is that I can still wear something much more covered, and still have a weirdo staring at me. I must say, the majority of the time they are uneducated blabbermouths who drag unnecessary conversations to a point where you wish someone can save you. The only real option for women is to grow a thicker skin and to look away. And although I do opt for the ignoring option when it comes to most situations, it is extremely difficult when people stare you down for sexual intentions and your only true option is to grow a “thicker skin”. Nevertheless, ignoring them can result in you angering them which creates a huge embarrassing scene. Luckily for me, every perve attempt that was made on me hasn’t resulted in me being shouted at…..yet. Most guys just accept the no and tell me to have a great day. However, occasionally I do get creepy stares (even in front of my mother) and overall it is a huge downfall to being a young woman or a woman completely honest. You either have to ignore these perves with the potential consequence of being harassed, play along nicely with the excruciating conversation hoping that person would get the hint, or you can downright be honest and harshly reject them with the possibility of getting into an argument.

All these possible scenarios haunt me from time to time about what I should wear or what I should buy. It’s not even about the confidence anymore but more so about protection although we know that the looks will keep coming anyway. And being from the Bronx, we don’t have the best reputation surrounding the guys who look out here (RIP JUNIOR). But, there are millions of women who go through this every day and although no one certainly wants to, they get through it without allowing those stares to dictate their fashion. I love to show off my skin in my H&M rompers or my Forever21 dresses under the blazing sun during the summertime. My bodycon dress will highlight my figurately thicker and physically brown skin that I will continue to develop and thrive.