So, I kinda find myself single by default this summer. With everything closed around me, there’s no where to meet people. It’s not like I ever had a choice considering the Bronx is a poor place for dating in my opinion. Despite NYC going through it’s reopening phase, social interactions will take a LONG time to get back to normal. After all, we still have to social distance and a lot of these places will only take in a limited amount of customers. So yes, meeting someone this summer is even extra scarce with these crazy annoying limitations. Enjoying my summer and escaping is even more scarce.
Life Isn’t Good Now For Me To Date
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very possible to date now especially if you’re into zooming with shitty connections. But, is someone like me going to actually enjoy dating now? Of, course not. Life right now holds so much chaos and uncertainty. Considering I got attached to the last guy after just a few casual dates, I know I crave attention and a relationship for me right now would be such a gamble.
I would project my insecurities and anxiety from home onto my new potential boo which would strain the relationship and ultimately become another stress factor added to my life. I’d want to go out and get that physical intimacy which is actually a sin in today’s times. It’s just a poor time to date now and the way I see it, the universe is literally telling us that. Unless, you want to get sick.
You Begin To Realize A Whole Lot
It sucks even more going through a break up during the lock-down. You are stuck with your emotions at home all day with everything around you being closed. Like me, you may want an escape from reality and having a partner may gift you security. I talk about how even though I’ve been reflecting and growing from the break-up, I have sudden waves of emotions and it SUCKS. The loneliness, the thoughts can certainly kill you, I KNOW. It’s bound to happen and is normal especially at times so bleak like this.
But, I will say that this time forces you to focus on yourself. Almost, by default. Depending on the healing stage you are at, you begin to realize your worth and your amazingness. And let’s be honest, an ex brings temporary relief. They are an ex for a reason and returning to them will give you another thing to stress in the long run. Work on yourself and you will find a new sense of pride this summer. Besides my waves, who really wants to be in a full blown relationship now when you’re going to be apart for so long or smothered stuck together? It’s just not a good a time.
I’ll Let Fate Take It’s Course And Decide What’s For Me
With all that aside, I also personally hate online dating or using these apps. Unfortunately we are at a new age where even before the virus, using these apps were our best chances. I prefer that in person chemistry right away when you meet someone versus superficially judging them on their looks and swiping. And as cliche as it is, I’m just DONE! I want fate to take it’s place and I rather not force anything.
This may be extra but I truly believe the virus and these race protests happened for a reason. It was fate in my opinion. With all these limited resources, I’ll take what I can get and grow from whatever life throws at me. I have no choice after all and I know it’s difficult. But, I don’t want to be angry right now with anyone nor at the world. It takes energy and sleep (trust me I know). I’m just going to do me, and see the outcomes.
So there you have it, no quarantine dating for me. I don’t see the point and I rather date in a world where times are best. Unfortunately times are not at it’s best. The downside is that it’s summer and we really can’t live our best lives. But, there are online groups that help me out and diminish my loneliness along with videos that snap me back to shape. I have my superficial goals of wanting to grow my hair out and take pictures (don’t judge me). Then, I have my goals to continue blogging so I can see my own growth and also help others during times like this. By the time this lock-down is lifted for good, I plan on being a new version of myself that is even more humble, determined, peaceful, and attractive for the world to see.