How It Feels Being A Low Income Student In College (NYU)

Ever since this pandemic, it’s been Zoom University. I’ve seen a few students complain about how they hate to be home due to the small space, loud family, and mental health issues. And although my family has been helpful to me, living at home can be such a downer at times. Hearing about these NYU kids having their own apartments or seeing their lavish homes in zoom, really makes me feel insecure at times.

I can’t really expect anything different considering NYU is filled with rich kids. However just like how this pandemic has shown who’s privileged and who’s not, it feels like my life has taken a step backwards just by being home. It’s as if I have nothing to show by just staying on my laptop, zooming through my classes from the Bronx projects.

And there have been many instances where I see others complain about NYU’s financial atrocities. However, looking at how some of these other kids live and have been living during this pandemic does make me jealous lol.

So This Short Film Class I’m Taking…..

I mainly wrote this blog to vent about this kid who used a former but known actress for his short film. I’ve been feeling insecure about this class considering my foreignness to film-making and also how my apartment would look on camera. I don’t have the dirtiest apartment, but I don’t have the cleanest either. In fact, i’ts pretty stocked due to this Covid mess, but because it’s an apartment from the projects, it doesn’t resemble the clean and pristine apartments these students are used to.

So when this kid hired a cinematographer and had a 50 million budget for his film, I really became annoyed. I was annoyed by how little I have, and how much he had. But then I tried to stop being so close minded for a second. He was the only one in the class to have such connections and upon looking at everyone else’s film, there films look extremely simple, like mine. Additionally, everyone in the class has their own insecurities about the lack of resources they have and then I wondered, why am I this insecure about my own project?

Sure my home isn’t the ideal home to live in or look at. But, it’s out of my control. In fact this entire pandemic is out of my control and I’ve already expressed my frustrations with letting fate play out. However, I take pride when I succeed with so little I have. Whether it is going to college with a full ride from a family of immigrants, or having an internship with Sony despite my prior lack of experience, I always make magic from situations that would have been statistically against me.

What Growing Up Poor Teaches You

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In fact my low income background has always been a motivation for me to want better in life. I don’t have mommy or daddy money, a car, hell not even my own room. So when I see other students around me having all of that, I can’t say I don’t envy that because I do. But, I will say that my upbringing has created my work ethnic and my humbleness. And to be honest, this is something that many rich kids will never know because everything has been fed to them.

So when I look at my film project, I really do see it’s potential. I can bring the flare and the fiery culture from the projects that these people may be unfamiliar too. I am bringing them realism on how and where the average American lives. After all, I’ve emphasized the culutre of my hometown, the Bronx, before on a different school project. I remember being slightly disregarded by the professor for not having a Mac or an Iphone since that was the only video editing formula she knew. But with my android and a free service I found on the net, I got an A and my project was at the same quality as everyone else. I used what was available to me and succeeded.

So yes, I may overthink things, but I will be fine at the end. I’m always fine at the end. And I’m interested in seeing other people’s projects since the majority of us have such limited options. It’s always important to remind yourself, you aren’t the only one with certain struggles. We often see the rich or the people with more resources soaring on top. But for this film project, I can’t wait to see the creativity we make without the fancy cameras, crew, or setting. And in reality, the story is what matters the most. I’m living proof of that and will continue to be.