So in my time at NYU, I think I’ve experienced rejection about 5 million times. Of course when I say rejection, I’m referring to guys and career opportunities. In this blog, I’m going to delve into each category and how I handled or am currently handling it.
So a big characteristic of me is how ambitious I am. I don’t like to sit around and let fate take its course. To be honest, luck doesn’t naturally come to life. I like to create opportunities for myself and going for what I want. As we know, life is so short to just wait around so why not just take a risk? Well….
Career Rejections
Personally for me, I’ve tend to brush the automatic robot rejections I get after I apply to a job. I think this applies to the notion that the more something happens to you, the more you get use to it.
However, with jobs where I actually managed to get into the interviewing rounds, I’ve had times where I would break down in tears over how close the opportunity was to me. And to be honest, it may happen again in the future.
However, if I weren’t rejected so many times, I wouldn’t have been so grateful for the times I actually managed to gain a job opportunity. Similar to my last blog on growing up poor, I feel humble and blessed when I do score new opportunities. In my opinion, this is something that is only taught when you’ve been kicked down a million times and not something to be taught when you’ve been fed a golden spoon throughout your life.
Besides, I’ve also used my rejections and learn from them. Like now I know what not to ask in an interview or how crappy my resume actually was. There have been times where I actually kept in touch with recruiters and managed to get another job through them. It’s always helpful to reach out to rejection email with a positive attitude. You may never know what other opportunity may be aligned for you.
Boy Rejections
So I have had my fair share of rejections from boys. Some have been minor while others have been major including my first this year. The minor ones I was able to brush aside were the ones on dating apps. Many guys on these apps just look for an ego boost.
The Pretentious Kids Who Think They Are The Next Shakespeare
Another rejection was when I hit up this classmate via Facebook. And although he would engage in small talk, he would quickly disengage and leave me on read. Mind you, the guys was giving me mixed messages. It wasn’t until I walked up to him and to ask him if he wanted to help me out with re-bunking my dorm bed. And again, the answer was pretty mixed with him saying to hit him up if it’s still needed. I remember just trying to get over him at that point and me seeing him talk to another girl as I exited our last class helped. He was so pretentious and swore he was the next big writer. He was very into himself aswell. A year later I saw him and to be honest I tried my best to avoid him because I don’t know what I ever saw in him.
The Prince Who Doesn’t Bother With Commoners
Another minor rejection was actually today. With zoom university it’s practically impossible to connect and make new friends. Call me a crazy stalker, because I am, but I’ve been friending my classmates on Facebook just to stay connected. Upon looking one of my classmates up, I find out one of them is an actual prince. I check his IG and there were some people debunking this statement. So, I had the balls, as I usually do, to direct message him via zoom. I thought this was normal at least on my end because I use the direct message portion on zoom very religiously.
I ask “can I ask you a quick question?”. Since his camera was on, I saw him read my message, look onto the zoom board, and just sit back in his chair. At first I didn’t think much of it until I was like “this asshole”. I literally wanted to choke him though my screen. Now I know no one is inclined to respond back, but I find him to be a jerk simply because he did not know my intent. It was like a preemptive rejection and I just labeled myself as being friendly. Now if he would have ignored my actual question which I do consider overbearing, “are you actual royalty” then yes I would have understood. But in this case, I sincerely wasn’t.
And, it’s not like I was asking for a nude or even a million dollars. Was he cute, to be honest yes, but I didn’t want to be his next princess Diana. Maybe he knew my motive and thought I was onto his “identity”, I don’t really know. And if you’re petty Betty like me, when I get rejected I look at a person’s flaws and yes this prince has his flaws. He looks like a stressed out wet dog every time he zooms, looks shaken up sighing all over the place, looks like he’s going to punch a dude in the face in any minute, and by his lack of response, he’s most likely another entitled rich kid who thinks he’s better than others similar to many NYU kids I’ve come across with. Ironically these kids never worked for their status. I may even write a blog on how spoiled people are in this school.
But usually, I’m on point with these flaws and can truly read people’s character. And like many people, his character reads to me as stuck up trash. Now I know how those people feel when they have had a rude encounter with a celeb. But then again, he’s a so called prince so what should I have expected
The Nihilistic Gamer
Lastly after dating him for a while, this boy rejected me and the aftermath was very ugly. Like all break ups, you really need time to heal. As a result you learn a lot not only about yourself but about the other person.
I don’t want to go too much in depth about this simply because I’m over it (at least for the moment not necessarily for life). Besides I have many other blog posts surrounding this. However, I do have different feelings towards the situation and even find myself just feeling bad about how much potential he has but is wasted.
Point is That Rejection Isn’t Really About You
I figured that many of the times when someone rejects you, 90% of the time it’s a reflection on them versus you. Don’t get me wrong you may have your flaws, but a lot of the time you get a sense of someone’s true colors in the way in which they reject you. And although this is a blessing in disguise, it hurts how many people like this are out there. But, this is to say that you are NOT the problem.
Like I said, all these situations were a result of me shooting my shot. When you put yourself in these positions, you are going to get your fair shares of no. I can’t be mad at my hustle and unlike many people, I’m not afraid to put myself out there. I actually find comfort in taking risks versus thinking about “what if”.
Does rejection still hurt me? Of course it does. However, I take pride that I am a person who actually takes action. Hell, I sometimes scare people off for being “friendly, extroverted, and forward”. It says a lot about how shallow, snobby, and close-minded people can be.
Regardless, it’s safe to say many of the times you get rejected, people don’t know the “true you”. They are rejecting you because of what they are taught to believe, insecurities, ignorance, and straight up asshole behavior.
And if you need some love and relatability, check on some reddit forums. I know that reddit can be toxic, but depending on what you follow, personally it can be very therapeutic that people share the same beliefs as you. Let alone, it’s funny seeing them roast people who deserve to be roasted.
