I’ve been thinking about this topic for a long time actually. Ever since I entered college, I’d hear about people’s sex stories. After all, it’s college and people are bound to hook up. Whether you are in a relationship or not, people are just horny and being away from their parents gives them more freedom.
Then I think about dating apps and how much power they have now with pandemic going on. Many dating apps are coined with the term “the hookup app”. People can easily ghost, find a temporary fling, and still have endless choices. It makes me wonder if these apps are making us more narcissistic, picky, and numb to the excitement a new love interest.
Sex In Music
This topic ignited me again after watching this video. It made me think about my cousins who fangirl over Ariana Grande. They claimed her recent song, Positions, is about female empowerment. Although women should embrace their sexuality especially after being reprimanded for it, I disagreed with Ariana’s tactic about it.
The song was about sex, but the video was more about women succeeding in the workplace, taking on multiple roles outside and in the bedroom. The song doesn’t mention any of the high career positions she takes on in the video. And I’m not claiming Ariana has said that this song is the next anthem. I just find it fascinating that my young cousins, 12 and 17, saw this video as female empowerment. It’s a tactic I personally hate. To add on, she does have a young audience with many being teenagers. Will most teenagers see this as the new female empowerment?
To sum up, most people are going to stream the song versus watch the video therefore the impact lies more on the lyrics. For a huge artist like Ariana Grande to stick to the sex trend despite having room to make a song with different lyricism, it annoys me. Nevertheless, I can definitely see why female empowerment co-exists with sexual liberation. It’s a way of breaking the BS “purity” we were taught to have and not making it so taboo for women. Even so, it feels good being sexy and and nevertheless being sexual. After all, women have needs and wants despite being constrained. And to be honest, growing up in a Hispanic household, I was definitely ready to explore that avenue, though I was shamed for it later 🙁
The Truth Is That Sex Just Sells
It bothers me seeing how sexual liberation has now become the only form of feminism that’s presented with these artists. It’s never about wage gaps, gender discrimination, harassment, etc. (though Little Mix has tried). Instead, it’s become individualistic and capitalistic. The truth, is that sex sells, it’s a marketing tactic, but most of these artists are going to not say that and rather talk about how empowering their work is.
And this isn’t to diss the women because after all, I do enjoy these two artists very much. But, the same goes to men and I feel like the fault lies in them the most. After all, almost every industry is led by men and they are the ones who push these women to being so sexual. Besides, I was discussing this with my best friend who very much agreed and we started talking about the trash state of men’s music.
It’s all about sex, a**, boobs, p****, and more. The video vixens get worse each year, and the lyrics get more and more vulgar. But they too, know that sex sells. The worse part is that they never get the same backlash as women. Because of this, I have to give it to the women to at least profit off of the double standards.
Because sex sells, it says a lot about society and how it has evolved. These songs tend to break records. However with this in mind, we have to remember the power of the media. The media promotes that engaging in sex makes you cool, an adult, and an exciting person all around. As a result, there is this pressure to not only engage in those behaviors, but to live up to the expectations of having great sex. All around, I wish both men and women have their singles with different subject matter.
Hook Up Culture In My Generation
With the media promoting that having sex is an honor and a prize, I have personally seen people who have engaged in these acts to have bragged. It’s like having sex or loosing your virginity is a trophy. There’s an anticipation to it, until someone catches feelings.
Now I can’t entirely blame this phenomenon on the media, but I know movies and shows have also contributed to over sexualizing people. With this, there’s also been a fascination to “hit it and quit it”. Along with these heightened expectations of it being great (don’t expect things to be easy and perfect the first time), the media promoting it, and now this, it’s no wonder why some people don’t see having sex as special anymore. It seems more of a trend than a genuine intimate moment you share with someone. I mean, I rarely see virginity being celebrated or being marketed “as the norm”.
And if you aren’t practicing this trend, you are either teased or seen as this “poor thing” out of pity. And if you’re like me, your self esteem tends to decline a bit as if you are the problem. Like why can’t I find people to hook up with so easily or let alone how can I not catch feelings? Probably because I just hate apps and still love love 🙁 Let alone, I ironically find myself hating how online dating is our norm for current times and how that’s my “only option”. As a result, I sometimes hate myself for hating these apps. Like why can’t I be one of those people who doesn’t oppose them and can’t just have fun? But, then you see the impacts and people true intentions with these apps and you feel slightly better.
My Personal Opinion
Now I am a firm believer of exploring your curiosity and sexuality. For me I prefer to do such with someone special. This doesn’t mean I’ll marry the person or he will become my Prince Charming. In fact, I’m most likely going to make mistake on the way and cry in regret like many girls in their lifetime. Dating and finding “the one” is hard asf. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with being confident when you’re at the moment. In fact it’s important to think about your emotional thinking in the past. But, I know for a fact there are people out there like me still, probably being called prudes, but in actuality associate emotion and importance with intimacy. Though, I will say that these stories leave such a memory.
