I am writing this now as the water system in apartment had been cut off, along with the heat and god knows what else in the future. There are many times I find myself so angry by how terrible society is. I’ve blogged about how unfair this pandemic has been, and how essential workers aren’t economically treated the way they should be treated.
The $600 dollar checks prove how much the government is a joke to us. It’s crazy how during a pandemic, we get little to no relief. Let alone, opportunities right now are so frustrating to find. Meanwhile, the rich are living just fine and continue to their own money. However, it’s at the expense of the working class who are continuously exploited and are working for a wage that barely gets them by. And unfortunately, I’m going to have to join that workplace soon.
Moving Out
I’ve made it clear to my family that I plan on moving out if I get a full time position elsewhere. A part of me feel guilt considering I help out my single mother financially with the bills here. A part of it goes back to feeling the need to help out my immigrant family and give them back the sacrifices they made for me.
But, not only is this unfair to me living my own life, this is a burden that no one should ever have. Unfortunately, I see a lot of young people of color having to carry the burden of financial hardships of their older generations. Instead of living my life, I am taught to provide for others. As a result, it feels sometimes as if I was born or fated to give relief and not live a life of my own.
Systemic Racism In Terms Of Living
I’ve been very honest on my blog about how I was born and raised in the projects at the Bronx. But now that I am older, I can have much more awareness about how the system really screws minorities over. I always knew it did, but never researched how until the pandemic hit us pretty hard.
NYCHA
A lot of NYCHA buildings lack proper maintenance and funding. Many of people who occupy these buildings including mine are usually people of color. And although the violence and the people can be unbearable, getting out is not as easy as people make it out to be. There’s a deeply embedded systematic oppression of POC and poor people that prevents them from getting jobs. And if they do get jobs, it’s not enough and often they either have to work an extra crazy amount hours to get a decent paycheck. The moment you do make a little bit extra, you get your benefits cut off and have to deal with a rent increase, just like my household did.
As a result, you have young people like me thinking more about my family than my own future and how to support them. I’m living in a country where being I’m fated to fail and stay poor. I’m fated to living in a dangerous area, where the buildings are have several issues including mine. It actually made headline news that a women in my building fell into a coma after going downstairs for her appointment when the elevators weren’t working (which has been an ongoing problem). Come to find out a few days ago she actually died.
The United States
And to be honest, even though certain races have it the worst, I do blame U.S capitalism as a whole. I’ve said many times on my blog on how I like the idea of capitalism, but hate reality of it. Seeing many others excluding people of color, struggling to find a decent job is sad. The exploitation is real and very much alive. Yes, the pandemic has made things worse. But, it pains me seeing how many people are struggling to make ends meet in a country that is supposed serve them. There’s not much emphasis on mental health but instead on “hustling”, working nonstop in a state of misery. Nevertheless, the wage gap and the things that do actually get funded in this country sickens me.
And Yes I’m Fed Up
I get tired of people gaslighting other people’s struggles or generalizing them as a collective. Most people who are a part of the working class are working damn hard yet aren’t getting the wage they receive. A lot of them are finding it hard to receive relief and financial assistance. Most people of color who are part of the working class, deal with generational poverty and discrimination that makes it even harder to succeed.
I will say that growing up this way has lead me to become very eager to find better in life. I don’t think I would feel this way if I didn’t grow up poor. However, it’s always a shame seeing how the world truly operates and close-minded, dismissive people truly are.